Anger is a normal emotion, but when it starts to control your actions or harm your relationships, it’s time to take a deeper look.

Using principles from Contextual Therapy, developed by Dr. Steven Hayes, we can approach anger management in a way that focuses on mindfulness, acceptance, and values-based action.

What Is Contextual Therapy?

Contextual Therapy, grounded in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), helps people relate differently to their emotions. Instead of fighting anger or trying to suppress it, the goal is to accept its presence and take actions that align with your deeper values, even when anger shows up.

5 Steps to Manage Anger with Contextual Therapy

Notice the Anger Without Judgment

When anger arises, pause and observe it. Instead of labeling it as “bad,” try saying, “I notice I’m feeling angry right now.” This creates space between you and the emotion, allowing you to respond instead of react.

Understand the Trigger

Ask yourself, “What’s happening right now that’s fueling my anger?” Anger often arises when something important to you feels threatened, such as your values of respect, fairness, or love.

Practice Acceptance

Fighting anger often makes it stronger. Instead, acknowledge it without letting it take over. Say, “It’s okay to feel angry—it’s my body’s way of telling me something matters.”

Connect to Your Values

Ask yourself, “What kind of person do I want to be in this moment?” If you value kindness or integrity, let those values guide your actions, even if anger is present.

Choose Mindful Actions

Use mindfulness techniques, like deep breathing or grounding, to calm your body. Then, act in a way that aligns with your values. For example, instead of yelling, calmly express what upset you and what you need.

Why This Works

Anger isn’t the enemy—it’s a signal that something matters to you. By accepting its presence and focusing on your values, you can respond to anger in a way that strengthens your relationships and aligns with your long-term goals.

Let’s Work Through This Together

Managing anger is a skill that takes time and practice. As a therapist trained in Contextual Therapy, I can help you learn tools to respond to anger in a healthy, values-driven way.



Reach out today to start your journey toward a calmer, more connected life.

Your values can guide you—even when anger arises!