Social anxiety can feel like a constant battle. Whether it’s speaking up in meetings, introducing yourself to a new client, or simply engaging in everyday conversations, the fear of judgment or rejection can be overwhelming.

Relational Frame Theory (RFT), developed by Dr. Steven Hayes, offers a fresh perspective on managing social anxiety by changing how you relate to your thoughts and feelings.

What Is Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety is the intense fear of being judged or embarrassed in social situations. It often comes with negative self-talk, physical symptoms like sweating or shaking, and a desire to avoid situations that trigger discomfort.

RFT explains that social anxiety is deeply tied to the relationships we create between experiences, words, and emotions. These relationships, or “relational frames,” influence how we interpret and respond to situations.

The good news is that you can change these frames to reduce the impact of anxiety.

Tips to Manage Social Anxiety Using RFT

Notice and Name Your Thoughts

RFT emphasizes observing your thoughts without attaching meaning to them. For example, if you think, “I’m going to embarrass myself,” notice it as just a thought, not a fact. Try saying, “I’m having the thought that I might embarrass myself.” This small shift creates distance between you and the thought.

Reframe Your Language

How you talk to yourself matters. Replace negative frames like “I’m bad at talking to people” with more helpful ones like “Talking to people is a skill I’m practicing.” This changes the relationship between you and your social experiences.

Focus on Your Values

Instead of avoiding social situations, focus on what matters most to you. Do you value connection, learning, or professional growth? Let these values guide your actions, even when anxiety shows up. For example, attending a networking event might feel scary, but it aligns with your value of building meaningful relationships.

Practice Mindful Engagement

Use mindfulness to stay present in social situations. Focus on the conversation, the environment, or your breathing. This reduces the influence of anxious thoughts and helps you connect with others more authentically.

Create New Associations

Gradually expose yourself to social situations and pair them with positive outcomes. For example, start with small steps like saying hello to a colleague or asking a simple question during a meeting. Each success builds a new relational frame of confidence and capability.

Why This Approach Works

RFT helps you recognize that your thoughts and emotions don’t have to control your actions. By changing the relationships you create with these experiences, you can reduce the grip of social anxiety and build healthier, more empowering patterns.

Let’s Work Through This Together

Social anxiety doesn’t have to hold you back. With guidance and the right tools, you can learn to relate to your anxiety in a new way and take meaningful steps toward your goals.



Contact me today to start your journey toward more confident and connected living.

Your best relationships start with you!